Desi Aragon

Modern Day Muse

Life Under Construction

under construction

There is a road not far from my house that seems like it’s been under construction for years. It started as a two-lane road. One lane going each direction. A few years back, the county decided to turn it into a four-lane road, and some parts of it will even have up to three lanes in each direction. You can imagine that this type of construction is complicated and filled with unexpected delays. Still the county has moved forward diligently with the project and one day people who drive the road hope the construction project will actually be finished.

My life feels exactly like this right now.

Several years back I realized that I had stopped doing most of the things that I loved. Particularly around the areas of learning and spiritual seeking. I don’t exactly know exactly why I stopped, but one day it became apparent this part of my intrinsic nature needed attention. I think that was the day that I hit the go button on my life construction project. Soon after I was back to listening to audio books, talking with my friends about philosophical concepts, and remembering this truth in my heart. That was followed by a decision to enter a spiritual life coaching certification program. Looking back I see this time as the planning steps of my life construction project.

Implementation of the project included participating in a spiritual life coaching certification program. This process was long and complex. There were 12 hour classes that spanned over whole weeks and many weekends. Our family made sacrifices so I could pursue this dream. This was the stage where the construction project actually broke ground. I learned new things and was also given a language for that which I had always known. I made new friends and felt a sense of belonging. It was a time of self reflection and I enjoyed the process tremendously.

After the certification program completed I went back to my life. However the construction project was already in the works and thus change was inevitable. I was naïve and didn’t actually anticipate the mass amount of change that would ultimately result. It seemingly snuck up on me. First there was a job change. Followed by more growth, followed by a shift in my career to move from corporate work to entrepreneurial work. Followed by changes in my closest relationships. I find myself wondering when the construction project is going to come to an end? Will the roads ever feel smooth and normal again?

Last night, when I went to sleep, I prayed for clarity around what is happening in my life walking through all of these changes.

I awoke with a vision of a road that had moved from a two-lane road to a four-lane road and the word “expansion” playing in my mind. If I see life as a construction project then I’m better able to understand that there will be times when what used to be “enough” is no longer enough. This is not about material items but emotional and spiritual expressions. It is no longer enough for me to express these parts of myself part time or when it is convenient for others. There always comes a time when expansion is an absolute necessity. My two lane road is ready to be four lanes. I have prepared for this, laid the groundwork and feel ready to pave new pathways.

The project may be fraught with uncertainty but somewhere along the way it will feel smooth and natural again. And, as our soul’s evolution would have it, chances are high that when this one project finishes – a new project will begin its planning stages! For that is the joy of being in a state of continual growth and living life under construction.

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